Epi. #90. From Chancla Culture to Gentle Parenting. My Journey as a Latina MotherDec 12, 2023
Let me take you on my journey - one that might resonate with many of you.
I grew up in Colombia, in a home where a 'chancla' or a wooden spoon flying across the room was pretty standard.
That's how we were disciplined, and honestly, I thought that was just how things were done.
My Eye-Opening Experience:
Things started to change when I began fostering two beautiful Latino kids in 2012.
These kids came from a similar background as mine, and the fear in their eyes over the smallest things broke my heart.
I remember thinking, "I can't be the reason these kids are scared," and that was my turning point to say, “The cycle stops with me.”
1. Diving into a New World:
I hit the books, joined online groups, and scrolled through endless social media posts about gentle parenting.
It was exciting but also a bit isolating.
My Latino family didn’t get it. They saw it as too soft, too permissive. And honestly, in the beginning, I wasn’t too sure myself.
I felt like I was fumbling, trying to use these new gentle scripts with my kids, and it just wasn't clicking.
2. The Tug-of-War Within:
The toughest part?
On days when everything was smooth sailing, I felt like a gentle parenting superstar. But on rough days? That old instinct to yell or to show I’m the boss crept back in.
I didn’t give in to spanking, but I did yell.
It left me feeling guilty and far from the calm, collected mom I wanted to be.
Section 3: My Turning Point
The game-changer came when I discovered Dr. William Glasser’s research on human needs.
It struck a chord.
I realized that behaviors – both mine and my children's – were communications of unmet needs.
This understanding was transformative. I began approaching parenting differently, focusing on understanding and addressing these underlying needs.
This shift allowed me to communicate empathetically with my children, preventing small issues from escalating into bigger conflicts.
This understanding forms the core of the Parenting With Understanding™ methodology, which revolutionized not just my parenting style but my whole family dynamics.
My relatives, initially skeptical, now see the positive changes. Even my father, an old-school Colombian man, expressed his wish that he had known what I know now.
Section 3. You Can Break Your Cycle as Well.
But don’t take my word for it; hundreds of our coaching clients are applying The Parenting With Understanding™️Methodology in their homes, and they are experiencing massive changes.
-They are not reactive during their children’s chaos. They are calmly guiding their children through their moments with compassion and assertiveness.
-Their children feel understood; they cooperate easily in the morning when it’s time to go to school or at night when it’s time to go to bed.
-Their skeptical partners, many of them Latinos as well, are now wanting to change their parenting style because their spouses are able to get their children to listen without yelling or spanking.
This is Kenny, one of our clients and father of a 3-year-old who went from skeptical and reactive to calm and connected:
My journey as a Latina mom in the world of gentle parenting has taught me the power of understanding, empathy, and assertiveness.
It allowed me to transform from a reactive parent into one who confidently navigates the chaos with calmness and clarity.
The best part? You can bring this understanding into your parenting journey, too.
Join me on December 19, 2023, for a free Zoom class where I'll share two systems to help you break free from frustration and bring peace to your parenting using the Parenting With Understanding method.
For more insights and real-life examples, tune into the full episode of The Parenting With Understanding™ Podcast.
Hasta pronto, and remember, your journey to gentle parenting is a journey worth taking!