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Epi #118. 4 Things You Must Do to Raise a Confident Child

cyclebreakers epi118 gentle parenting marcela collier parenting-with-understanding podcast shownotes spotlight Jun 25, 2024
HIC Parenting Education
Epi #118. 4 Things You Must Do to Raise a Confident Child

4 Things You Must Do to Raise a Confident Child

Today, I want to dive into something close to every parent's heart: raising confident children. It's not just about positive affirmations or superficial displays of strength.

I will share with you 4 things you must know to raise a confident child. 



  • Understanding True Confidence


Let's debunk a myth right off the bat: telling your child to "just be confident" or repeating positive affirmations won't cut it. 

True confidence isn't about hiding vulnerabilities; it's about embracing them. 

I remember a moment with my own son, hesitant to jump into a pool. 

Instead of dismissing his fear, I validated it. 

I normalized his emotions, reassuring him that it's okay to be scared and brave at the same time.

I recall another powerful story from my past. 

A child I knew was being urged by an older boy to overcome his fear of jumping on a trampoline. 

The older boy's well-intentioned advice, echoing his parents, was to ignore his fear and "just do it." 

This approach, while common, negates the importance of acknowledging and respecting one's emotions. 

For my son and many children, true confidence starts with accepting all parts of themselves—including their fears and insecurities—without shame.



  • The Role of Secure Parenting


As parents, our own insecurities can unintentionally impact our children's confidence. 

Imagine being in a store, your child throwing a tantrum for a toy. You feel eyes judging you, and that sense of inadequacy creeps in. It's tough, right? 

But reacting from that place of insecurity—yelling, threatening—only undermines the secure environment we strive to create.

I've seen transformative change when parents work on their own emotional security. 

One memorable client, Valerie, came to me feeling overwhelmed by her reactions to her child's behavior. 

Through our coaching sessions, she discovered tools to manage her emotions and respond more calmly. 

This shift improved her relationship with her child and fostered an environment where her child felt safe to express themselves without fear of harsh judgment.



  • Empowering Through Communication


Communication is key to building confidence. 

Every behavior, even the challenging ones like whining or tantrums, is a form of communication. 

Dr. William Glasser's theory hits home here: behaviors signal unmet needs. 

By decoding these signals and empathetically addressing them, we teach our children to assertively articulate their feelings and desires.

I've witnessed this firsthand with my neurodivergent son, who struggled to express his needs. 

Teaching him to say "help" transformed his meltdowns into moments of growth and empowerment. 

It's about validating their emotions and teaching them that asking for what they need is okay.



  • Setting Boundaries for Empowerment


Boundaries are often misunderstood in parenting. 

It's not about control or dominance; it's about mutual respect. 

If we want our children to stand up for themselves in the world, they must first learn to set boundaries within our homes. 

This means allowing them to say "no" respectfully and guiding them through conflicts with empathy and understanding.

Navigating this path isn't easy; it requires us to peel back layers of conditioned beliefs about parenting. 

Instead of stifling their assertiveness, we should nurture it by showing them how to express themselves respectfully. 

I often use the analogy of being the rails to their stream, guiding them rather than obstructing them.


Conclusion: Parenting With UnderstandingTM

Raising confident children isn't a one-size-fits-all formula—it's a journey of self-discovery and empathy. 

We empower our children to navigate life's challenges with resilience and grace by fostering emotional security, teaching assertive communication, and respecting boundaries.

Do You want to break free from angry reactions and raise emotionally healthy children?

CLICK HERE to access my best class so you can bring peace to your parenting and raise emotionally healthy children today. 

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