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Epi #113. Children’s 5 Basic Needs Explained. Parenting With Understanding

cyclebreakers epi113 gentle parenting marcela collier parenting-with-understanding podcast shownotes spotlight May 21, 2024
HIC Parenting Education
Epi #113. Children’s 5 Basic Needs Explained. Parenting With Understanding

Children’s 5 Basic Needs Explained. Parenting With Understanding

Have you ever heard, “Every Behavior is Communication,” and then you are in the middle of a tantrum and feel confused and overwhelm the need your child is trying to communicate. 

This Podcast Episode is the lifesaver you need to never wonder the need your child is trying to communicate throught their hitting and tantrums, and what you need to do in order to meet those needs and get ahead of the tantrum. 

Keep reading, this is probably the most important thing you are going to read about your children’s emotional wellbeing. 


  • The Need for Survival: The Foundation of Safety.


The primal need for survival goes beyond physical sustenance; it extends to emotional and psychological safety. 

Marcela illustrates this with the story of eight-year-old Emma, who started exhibiting signs of anxiety and withdrawal after her family moved to a new city. 

Recognizing that Emma felt unsafe in her new environment, her parents took steps to create a sense of security by maintaining consistent routines and ensuring Emma knew she could express her fears without judgment.

Key Takeaway: If children do not feel safe, they enter survival mode, which can manifest as fear, aggression, or withdrawal. 

Parents can mitigate this by maintaining a predictable environment and being responsive to their children's emotional states.


  • The Need for Belonging: Cultivating Connections.


Belonging is about feeling connected, seen, and included. 

Marcela discusses the importance of fostering a strong family bond where children feel they are an integral part of the family. She shares the story of Lucas, a ten-year-old struggling with his parents' divorce.

By involving Lucas in family activities and ensuring he had ample time with both parents, Lucas felt more secure and his behavioral issues at school decreased significantly.

Key Takeaway: Ensuring a child feels a sense of belonging can dramatically affect their behavior and emotional well-being.

This involves active participation in a child’s life and validating their feelings and experiences.


  • The Need for Power: Empowering Through Choices


The need for power should not be misconstrued as a desire for control over others, but rather as a call for autonomy and respect. 

Marcela emphasizes the importance of empowering children by allowing them choices within set boundaries. 

This was evident in the case of seven-year-old Sophie, who showed constant tantrums at meal times. By allowing Sophie to choose between two healthy options, her parents saw a remarkable reduction in her defiant behavior.

Key Takeaway: Autonomy is a critical component of healthy development. Allowing children to make choices about their lives teaches them responsibility and fosters their self-esteem.


  • The Need for Freedom: The Liberty to Explore


Freedom in a child’s world means the opportunity to explore, experiment, and make mistakes. 

Marcela suggests structured freedom, where children have the space to explore within the safety of parental boundaries. 

This concept was beautifully demonstrated in how twelve-year-old Amir was treated after expressing an interest in cooking. 

His parents let him experiment in the kitchen, guiding him when necessary, which boosted his confidence and independence.

Key Takeaway: Offering children the freedom to explore their interests under supervision encourages creative thinking and problem-solving skills.


  • The Need for Fun: The Joy of Learning


Making learning fun is perhaps one of the most overlooked aspects of education. 

Marcela proposes incorporating play into everyday learning activities to engage children more deeply. 

She shares an anecdote about a local school that introduced gamified learning in their curriculum, which not only improved academic performance but also attendance rates.

Key Takeaway: Integrating fun into educational activities can enhance engagement and retention of information. 

It transforms learning from a chore to an adventure.

Conclusion: Transforming Parenting with the U.S.E Process

Marcela wraps up the episode by inviting listeners to a workshop where she will explore the U.S.E process—Understand, Strategize, and Engage—to correct behavior and meet children’s needs effectively. 

This approach not only addresses immediate behavioral issues but also equips parents with the tools to foster long-term emotional and psychological growth in their children.

After You Join Us, You'll Know Exactly:

✅ How to respond to your child’s needs accurately EVERY SINGLE TIME.

✅ How to spot a power struggle coming and calm things down before they get wild.

✅ How to correct any behavior for the long term, ensuring you see less of it every single time. 

✅ How to become a Secure parent who is able to assertively respond instead of reacting.

CLICK HERE to sign yo to the Online Workshop, ‘THe U.S.E Process to Correct Any Behavior with Ease.”

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