Epi #108. 3 Key Traits of a Secure Parent

3 Key Traits of a Secure Parent

Becoming a secure parent is more than just a title—it's a journey of emotional growth, understanding, and empathy. 

Through my own experiences and insights from other parents, I've identified three critical qualities that define a secure parent. 

These qualities transform the parent-child relationship into one of mutual respect and deep connection.

Understanding Needs: The Foundation of Connection

Twelve years ago, when I embarked on my parenting journey as a foster mom, I believed love and compassion were enough. 

However, I quickly realized that understanding both my needs and my child's needs was crucial. It wasn't just about reacting to behaviors or just loving him but about proactively supporting his needs.

Anticipating and Planning

By understanding the underlying needs behind behaviors, I shifted from reactivity to proactive support. 

This insight allowed me to anticipate my child's needs and address them effectively, fostering a secure environment for growth.

Emotional Intelligence: The Art of Calmness

At first, I struggled to understand why my son wouldn't calm down, despite my efforts to validate his feelings. It turned out I was faking calmness—on the outside, I appeared composed, but inside, I was overwhelmed.

Genuine Calmness

After a decade of honing my emotional intelligence skills, I learned to genuinely calm myself and, in turn, my child. 

This transformation was especially significant for a child dealing with mood disorders and trauma. 

Authentic calmness created a safe and trusting atmosphere for both of us

Effective Behavior Correction: Beyond Punishment

I had a clear vision of the parent I wanted to be, but executing that vision was challenging. Despite my best intentions, I found myself clashing with my child, echoing the punitive approaches I sought to avoid.

Embracing New Tools

Determined to break the cycle, I immersed myself in learning positive discipline and became a certified parenting coach. 

I developed a framework, the U.S.E process, to meet children's needs while fostering accountability and emotional well-being.

The Journey Continues: Support and Growth

Parenting isn't a solo endeavor—it's a dynamic, ongoing process.

Having a support system, like parenting coaches and a community of like-minded parents, is invaluable. 

The Secure Parent Collective offers this kind of supportive environment, where you can get personalized guidance and share experiences with others on the same path.

Imagine the Possibilities

Envision having a coach to guide you through understanding your child's unique needs and a community that uplifts and supports you. That's the essence of The Secure Parent Collective.

For more insights on becoming a secure parent and to join a community dedicated to this journey, explore The Secure Parent Collective.

For ongoing tips and strategies, tune into the Parenting With Understanding™️ Podcast. Together, we can grow and thrive in our parenting journey.