Epi #104. 7 Toddler Parenting Struggles and How I Faced Them Having Twins

7 Toddler Parenting Struggles and How I Faced Them Having Twins

Parenting is an expedition filled with its share of ups and downs, and when you have twins, the adventure doubles! 

Here, I share my personal journey through seven common toddler parenting struggles with my twins, offering insights and strategies that helped me navigate these choppy waters.

Struggle 1: Tantrums

Ah, the feared toddler tantrums! 

With twins, it's like a symphony of uproar at times. 

I remember days when one twin would set off the other, and suddenly, I was in the middle of a twin tantrum tornado. 

The key? Stay calm (easier said than done, I know). 

I learned to recognize their triggers and pre-empt potential outbursts by maintaining routines, offering choices, and sometimes just letting the storm pass, reassuring them of my presence without giving in to unreasonable demands.

Struggle 2: Picky Eating

Feeding one picky eater is tough; feeding two can feel like a culinary standoff. My twins had different tastes, which complicated meal times. I introduced a variety of foods early on, involved them in meal preparation, and made sure not to turn meals into battlegrounds. Consistency and patience were my best friends, along with a sprinkle of creativity in presenting their meals in fun, appealing ways.

Struggle 3: Potty Training

Double the toddlers, double the... well, let's just say potty training was an interesting phase. I learned quickly that each child is unique; one twin was ready before the other. I followed their cues, encouraged them without pressure, and celebrated small victories. There were plenty of accidents, but also plenty of progress. Consistency, encouragement, and understanding their individual readiness were key.

Struggle 4: Bedtime Struggles:

When it comes to bedtime with toddlers, the real challenge often lies beneath the surface. 

Instead of focusing solely on getting our little ones into bed, we need to explore the emotions and needs that could be setting us up for bedtime challenges. 

Take the story of Amanda, a dedicated mom and one of our valued coaching clients at HIC Parenting. 

Heavily pregnant and seeking guidance, Amanda was grappling with her 3-year-old's bedtime resistance, full of stalling tactics and tantrums. 

While bribes offered a temporary fix, they didn't address the underlying issues. 

Through our coaching sessions, we discovered her daughter's significant bedtime separation anxiety. 

This revelation was a game-changer.

With a personalized plan in hand, Amanda tackled her daughter's separation anxiety head-on. 

The result? Her daughter's bedtime became smoother, her sleep improved, and just in time for the new baby's arrival. 

This transformation underscores a critical parenting principle: solutions must be tailored to the unique dynamics of each child and parent.

Struggle 5: Aggressive Behaviors

Toddlers test boundaries, and with twins, they sometimes test each other's boundaries too. 

Biting, hitting, or grabbing can become common if not addressed. 

I focused on teaching empathy, and ways to express emotions safely, like taking deep breath and voicing our feelings.

When conflicts arose, I guided them to understand each other's feelings and to find peaceful resolutions.

Struggle 6: Sharing with Peers

"Mine!" was a frequent exclamation in our house. 

The truth is that toddlers can’t grasp yet the concept of sharing.

Knowing this child development fact, it was easier for me to adjust my expectations and to create play stations that my twins were able to recognize and use independently. 

Toddlers can’t understand the concept of shared ownership of things, so I went basic and worked with them on the understanding what belongs to who and to respect that.

Struggle 7: Dealing with Change

Whether it was moving to a toddler bed, starting preschool, or welcoming a new sibling, change can be hard for toddlers. 

With twins, I found that preparing them through stories, play, and open conversations about upcoming changes made transitions smoother. 

Acknowledging their feelings and offering extra reassurance during these times helped them adapt with more confidence and less anxiety.

Takeaways

Parenting twins through the toddler years is a rollercoaster ride of emotions, learning, and growth—for them and for me. Here are a few takeaways that I hope can help other parents:

• Empathy and Understanding: Getting down to their level and seeing the world through their eyes makes a world of difference.
• Consistency and Patience: These are your best tools in your parenting toolkit.
• Celebrate the Small Wins: Each step forward is a victory worth celebrating.
• Seek Support: It's okay to ask for help or find a community of parents who understand what you're going through.

For more insights and stories about how I faced my twins’ toddlerhood years, listen to our latest episode of the Parenting With Understanding™️ Podcast.