Epi #178. How This Mom Stopped Yelling at Her Child

Have You Ever Started the Day Calm… and Ended It in Frustration?

You wake up telling yourself,
“Today will be different. I’ll be patient. I’ll stay calm.”

And for a while, it works.
You’re gentle. You’re understanding. You explain things.

But then your child doesn’t listen.
The bedtime routine drags on.
You feel your patience slipping away.

By the end of the night, your voice is louder,
your heart is pounding,
and your child is looking at you with hurt eyes.

And you’re left thinking…
“Why does this keep happening? I want to be a better parent than this.”

That’s exactly where Christina was.

She’s a mom who wanted the best for her son.
She had studied psychology. She’d read all the parenting books.
She knew what she should do —
but in the heat of the moment, the old patterns from her childhood would take over.

And she’d end up reacting in ways she didn’t want to.

But then something changed.
Christina went from feeling powerless and anxious…
to feeling calm, confident, and connected with her son — even at bedtime.

And her son?
He went from stressed and on edge…
to calm, trusting, and learning faster than ever.

Here’s how it happened — and how you can see the same change in your home.

1. Knowledge Isn’t the Same as Change

Christina’s story starts with something many parents can relate to:
She knew a lot about parenting.

As a psychologist, she had studied child development.
She and her husband researched parenting strategies online.
They tried everything from gentle explanations to “switching shifts” when one of them got frustrated.

But nothing worked for long.

Why?
Because knowledge by itself doesn’t stop you from reacting in the moment.

When stress builds, your nervous system takes over.
If you grew up with yelling or punishments,
those patterns are wired in deep.

You can know the “right” approach…
and still find yourself snapping, threatening, or shutting down.

That’s why so many parents tell me,
“I know what I should do, but I can’t make myself do it when I’m triggered.”

Christina realized she needed more than just information.
She needed tools, practice, and support to actually change what was happening inside her.

2. The Missing Piece: Tools + Support

What Christina found in HIC Parenting was the Parenting With Understanding™ System.

It’s not just theory.
It’s practical tools to regulate yourself, connect with your child’s needs, and guide behavior without punishments.

And it’s not just tools.
It’s coaching — so you can apply them in real life, when your child is screaming in the grocery store or refusing to brush their teeth.

Christina said it best:
“Reading a book gives you information. Coaching changes you from the inside — and your child can feel that.”

With these tools, she learned how to:

• Stay calm even when her son resisted.
  
  
• Understand the why behind his behavior.
  
  
• Guide him without falling back on the patterns she grew up with.
  
  

And once she changed on the inside,
her son’s behavior began to change too.

3. From Stress to Connection

Before coaching, Christina described her son as “not fully calm around me… like he was on edge.”

That makes sense.
Kids pick up on our stress, even when we try to hide it.
If we feel anxious, they feel less safe.

After coaching, she noticed a huge shift.
Her son was more relaxed, more open, and more himself.
His little personality began to shine.
And he started learning faster, because his mind wasn’t stuck in stress mode.

One of the biggest changes showed up at bedtime.

Before:
She’d start gentle, but if he didn’t cooperate,
she’d feel powerless, anxious, and eventually snap.

After:
One night, he resisted bedtime —
but instead of spiraling into frustration,
she used the tools she’d learned.
She stayed calm and confident.
And he went to bed faster than she expected.

The only difference?
Her internal state.

4. Why Your State Matters More Than Techniques

Here’s the insight I want you to take from Christina’s story:

Your child’s behavior isn’t the real problem.
It’s a signal.

A signal about their state — and yours.

When you feel calm and secure,
your child feels safe.
When they feel safe, they can cooperate, connect, and learn.

That’s why changing your internal state is the fastest way to change your child’s behavior.

5. What This Means for You

If you’re reading this and thinking,
“I’ve read all the gentle parenting tips, and I still yell sometimes,”
please hear me — that doesn’t mean you’re failing.

It means you’re human.
It means you’ve been trying to change the surface (behavior) without changing the root (your state).

And once you shift your state,
everything else starts to get easier.

That’s what happened for Christina.
It’s what I’ve seen happen for hundreds of parents.
And it can happen for you too.

6. The Future Christina Sees Now

Before coaching, Christina was afraid of the future.
She told me she worried about what her relationship with her son would be like when he became a teenager.

Now?
She sees a bright future.
She knows her son will trust her because she’s secure and consistent.
She feels proud of herself as a parent.

And she’s proof that no matter where you start,
you can change the trajectory of your relationship with your child.

Your Next Step

If you want to break free from angry reactions and become the calm, confident parent your kids need,
the first step is learning the Parenting With Understanding™ System of Needs.

That’s exactly what I teach in my free class.

In this class, you’ll learn how to:
✅ Overcome angry reactions so you can respond calmly during your child’s chaos.
✅ Communicate in a way that gets your child to listen — even when you give a “no.”
✅ Raise emotionally healthy kids who grow up confident and self-accountable.

You don’t have to keep ending the day feeling guilty.
You don’t have to wonder if your kids will trust you in the future.

Click here 👉