Epi #167. How to Get Any Child's Attention With 2 Power Communication Strategies

Have you ever felt like your child just doesn’t listen no matter what you say?

You ask them to do something once. Then twice. Then three times.

And before you know it, you’re yelling again.

If that’s been you lately, you’re not alone.

So many of us grew up without healthy communication skills modeled to us. And now we’re trying to parent without a roadmap.

But what if I told you the problem isn’t your child’s behavior?

It’s what’s underneath it.

And once you understand what’s really going on, you can stop reacting and start connecting.

Let’s talk about what’s really going on in your child’s brain, and how to respond in a way that brings more peace to your home.

1. It’s Not About the Goggles

One of the moms I coach had a story that might sound familiar.

Her son was upset at the pool. His goggles didn’t fit anymore, but his sister’s did. He asked her to share. She said no.

Mom tried to help. She told him, "I ordered new goggles. They’ll be here in two days."

But he kept crying. He had a full meltdown.

Even with a solution in place, her son couldn’t calm down.

And eventually, Mom snapped.

Not because she was mad at him. But because she felt helpless.

This is where many of us lose it.

Not because of the meltdown. But because we feel like we’re doing everything right… and it’s still not working.

But here’s the truth:

Her son wasn’t ignoring her.

He was stuck in the emotional part of his brain.

2. Understanding the Brain Makes Everything Easier

Our children’s brains are still growing.

They have two sides:

• The right side controls emotions.
  
  
• The left side handles logic and reasoning.
  
  

Kids mostly live in their right brain.

Especially when they’re upset.

This means when your child is having a meltdown, they aren’t thinking clearly. They aren’t trying to be difficult. Their emotional brain is just too loud.

So when you try to explain something logically—like "your goggles will arrive in two days"—it doesn’t land.

Their logical brain isn’t even online yet.

And if we don't know this, we might think our kids are being stubborn or disrespectful.

But that’s not what’s going on.

3. Why We Snap (And What to Do Instead)

Let’s be honest.

When we feel like we can’t get through to our kids, we feel powerless.

That helplessness? It often leads to yelling.

That mom I coached said, "I explained the goggles, and he still cried. Then I just lost it."

She didn’t yell because of the crying.

She yelled because she felt like her words didn’t matter.

Sound familiar?

When we feel like we don’t know how to get through to our kids, our nervous system flips.

We react. Then we feel guilty.

The good news? We can stop this cycle.

We just need the right tools.

4. Strategy 1: Connect Before You Correct

Here’s the first tool: Connect and Redirect.

This tool helps your child go from the emotional brain to the thinking brain.

It works like this:

Let’s say your child is melting down because their toy broke.

Instead of jumping to, "We can fix it," start with connection:

"Oh no. That broke. You really loved that toy. I see how sad you are."

This lets your child feel safe.

You’re joining them where they are—in their emotional brain.

Once they feel seen, the brain starts calming.

Then you can redirect:

"Let’s see if we can fix it together."

This is when logic starts to make sense to them.

Connect first. Redirect second.

Every time.

5. Strategy 2: Name It to Tame It

This next tool is simple and powerful.

Name It to Tame It.

When your child is flooded with emotions, help them name what they feel.

"You fell. That hurt. That was scary. Now Mommy's here."

You’re not fixing the pain.

You’re making sense of the pain.

And when kids can put words to what they feel, their brain begins to calm.

Avoid phrases like:

• "You're fine."
  
  
• "Don’t cry."
  
  
• "It's not a big deal."
  
  

Instead, describe what you see:

"You were riding fast and then you fell. That really surprised you. It's okay to feel upset."

Naming the emotion helps children move through it.

6. Why These Strategies Work

When we connect and name what’s going on...

Our kids feel seen.

They start to calm.

Their brain shifts from chaos to clarity.

They can listen better.

They cooperate more.

They learn how to understand their own emotions too.

And we, as parents, feel more capable.

These tools don’t just help our children.

They help us stay calm, too.

Because we finally know what to do.

7. The Real Fix: Understanding Needs

When your child doesn’t listen...

When they cry over "small" things...

When they seem stuck...

It’s not because they’re bad.

It’s not because you’re failing.

It’s because there’s a need under the behavior that hasn’t been met yet.

And once we understand the need...

We can respond instead of react.

This is what I teach inside my free class:

If you're tired of yelling, feeling guilty, and not knowing what to do...

This class is for you.

Inside, you'll learn:

✅ How to break free from angry reactions and respond with calm during your child’s chaos
✅ How to get your child to listen to you—even when you say "no"
✅ How to raise emotionally healthy kids who feel safe, secure, and ready to face the real world

You don’t need to have it all together.

You just need the right support.

This free class will give you tools you can use right away.

Click here to watch the free class now 

Let this be your first step toward calmer parenting.

You're not alone. You're not broken.

You just need understanding.

You got this 💛